Josh McHugh

Cafe Antisociety

Canvas Cafe, 9th and Lincoln, SF. whoa. There's a guy hunched over his laptop. He is sitting on a low couch, facing away from me. I can see over his shoulder. He's logged on to Friendster, looking through gallery after gallery of pictures of girls, occasionally clicking through to the pages of info about height, weight, etc.. There are two seriously cute girls sitting to his left, on a couch perpendicular to his, sharing the coffee table with him. They are within an arm's length of him. He hasn't said a word to them or, as far as I've been able to see, so much as looked at them. This girl keeps looking at me from the corner. I have to get out of here.

Where's Ultraman When You Need Him?

Sighted at 268 Carl St.: a fellow talking animatedly on his cell phone while doing an Austin Powers-style 28-point parking job. His ride: green Toyota Camry with a 10-inch-tall Godzilla doll for a hood ornament.